The whole picture
Thoughts to ponder...
Someone else's expectations of us are not personal. In a way this might sound strange because you are in a relationship of some kind with that person, so in a way it might seem personal, but it is likely those needs existed before you came along That preference of receiving love existed before you came along The insecurities existed before you came along The way or means of feeling seen or accepted most likely existed before you came along Knowing what someone needs is valuable It is also valuable to understand that this works both ways Your preference for receiving love is yours and has been yours before this relationship, circumstance or experience Your own insecurities are yours, and illuminate possibility to nurture your needs through a more gentle, accepting and intentional relationship with yourself The way you need to be seen or accepted has likely been so in previous experiences or relationships Sometimes the other person doesn’t know how Sometimes the other person doesn’t have the awareness Sometimes the other person does know how and does have the awareness but doesn’t value this thing the same way we do We take it personally But we also make it personal A relationship has two directional movements, it has to, for this is the law of nature, a giving, a receiving, outward, Inward and regardless of this, It is no one else’s responsibility to make us feel a certain way Needed Enough Worthy Liked Seen Appreciated We do get to choose whether that relationship or experience is nourishing us enough, whether it is well balanced, and still aligned, but when we reach outwards to feel these things we will continue to be disappointed because this rich self worth is our own to be remembered No one else can remember our richness for us They can affirm it But our belief in our own worthiness, our value in the space we take up and what we contribute to this world simply by being here...that beautiful knowing can only ever be our own Next time you make it personal or take it personally...know this You are already enough This other person, just like you has their own shit to deal with and experience and navigate too You are each dancing in and around your own fears and sometimes you need a new dance partner, a new song, some new dancing shoes, some new moves, a different stage or...compassion for the journey including the toe stomping, tantrums, and accidentally wrong played songs.
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Author - Kelly Dalby
I'll always say it how it is. I'll always continue to be educated, I'll always seek out people who inspire me, so I can inspire you. Archives
July 2022
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