We make it personal. But we also take it personally.

Someone else's expectations of us are not personal. 

In a way this might sound strange because you are in a relationship of some kind with that person, so in a way it might seem personal, but it is likely those needs existed before you came along

That preference of receiving love existed before you came along

The insecurities existed before you came along

The way or means of feeling seen or accepted most likely existed before you came along

Knowing what someone needs is valuable
It is also valuable to understand that this works both ways

Your preference for receiving love is yours and has been yours before this relationship, circumstance or experience

Your own insecurities are yours, and illuminate possibility to nurture your needs through a more gentle, accepting and intentional relationship with yourself

The way you need to be seen or accepted has likely been so in previous experiences or relationships

Sometimes the other person doesn’t know how
Sometimes the other person doesn’t have the awareness
Sometimes the other person does know how and does have the awareness but doesn’t value this thing the same way we do

We take it personally 
But we also make it personal

A relationship has two directional movements, it has to, for this is the law of nature, a giving, a receiving, outward, Inward and regardless of this, It is no one else’s responsibility to make us feel a certain way
Needed
Enough
Worthy
Liked
Seen
Appreciated

We do get to choose whether that relationship or experience is nourishing us enough, whether it is well balanced, and still aligned, but when we reach outwards to feel these things we will continue to be disappointed because this rich self worth is our own to be remembered

No one else can remember our richness for us
They can affirm it
But our belief in our own worthiness, our value in the space we take up and what we contribute to this world simply by being here...that beautiful knowing can only ever be our own

Next time you make it personal or take it personally...know this

You are already enough
This other person, just like you has their own shit to deal with and experience and navigate too
You are each dancing in and around your own fears and sometimes you need a new dance partner, a new song, some new dancing shoes, some new moves, a different stage or...compassion for the journey including the toe stomping, tantrums, and accidentally wrong played songs.